S.G. Browne

People are always asking me about zombies:

Have you always loved zombies?
Do you think you’ll survive the zombie apocalypse?
Is it necrophilia if you’re both dead?

In case you’re curious, the answers are:

Yes.
No.
Probably not.

Truth is, I’m not an authority on zombie sex. However, I do know a lot about sloughage, frothy purge, and cadaver impact testing.

For some reason, this troubles my parents.

But the one question that seems to come up most often is:

Why do you think zombies are so popular right now?

I hear a lot of people saying that the current mainstream popularity of zombies is a direct reflection of global fears regarding the economy and terrorism. Horror as catharsis for the fears and anxiety of a society making commentary on itself. They contend that zombies are the proletarians of the monster hierarchy and in troubled economic times, they become the poster child for the financial ills of a nation.  An allegory for the end of the world as we know it.

Me?  I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.  I don’t believe the current surge in zombie popularity has anything to do with a reflection of global or economic fears.  And I sure as hell didn’t write Breathers because I was concerned about terrorists or my IRA.

Truth is, I think people have a tendency to apply social context where it doesn’t exist.

After all, where was the zombie mania during other major crises or catastrophes of the 20th century?  Like the Vietnam War? Or Watergate? How about the Iranian Hostage Crisis? The Stock Market crash of 1987? The Persian Gulf War? The election of George W. Bush?

It didn’t exist. Not on this scale.

So what happened to make them so popular today?  I’ll tell you what happened.  Zombies were taken out of their proverbial archetypal box.  No longer are they just the shambling, mindless, flesh-eating ghouls we’ve known and loved for most of the part four decades. They’ve expanded their range, become more versatile. More well-rounded. And who doesn’t enjoy a well-rounded zombie?

28 Days Later and the Dawn of the Dead remake made them faster.  Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland made them funnier. Fido made them domesticated.

Meanwhile, zombie fiction developed into a solid sub-genre, getting its start in 1990 with the publication of the John Skipp and Craig Spector anthology Book of the Dead.  Prior to that, zombie literature didn’t really exist and it didn’t really explode until this decade.

The new millennium brought with it a surge of zombie fiction, including, among others, The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z (Max Brooks), The Rising (Brian Keene),  Monster Island (David Wellington), Cell (Stephen King), Patient Zero (Jonathan Maberry), Day By Day Armageddon (J.L. Bourne), Happy Hour of the Damned (Mark Henry), Breathers, and of course, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Jane Austin and Seth Grahame-Smith).

Not to mention all of the YA titles, like The Forest of Hands and Teeth (Carrie Ryan), Generation Dead (Daniel Waters), Zombie Queen of Newbury High (Amanda Ashby), and You Are So Undead To Me (Stacey Jay).

Young adult readers aren’t eating these up because they’re afraid of what’s happening to their 401k’s or if some terrorist is going to board their plane.  They’re reading about zombies because they’re fun and scary and entertaining.

Truth is, today’s zombies are faster.  Funnier.  Sentient.

In addition to running like Olympic sprinters, being domesticated as pets, and fighting for their civil rights, modern zombies write haiku, perform household chores, and are used as terrorist weapons. They can also be found on the Internet going to marriage counseling, falling in love, and singing to their former co-workers about how they want to eat their brains.

That’s why zombies are so popular today.  To misquote Bill Clinton, it’s not the economy, stupid.  It’s the fact that they’re branching out and discovering that undeath isn’t just about decomposing and eating brains anymore.

shattered life dangles
a severed voice screams in grief
i’m rotting inside

Yes, originally I said this post was going to be U is for Undead.  But Z is for Zombies, like that’s a big surprise, and it seemed kind of silly to preempt zombies with the undead, so I tried to come up with something else and, well, this was it.

Why Ulysses?  Because I have a confession to make.  I’ve never read it.  I don’t even know what it’s about.  And I have never understood any of the obscure references Dennis Miller has made about James Joyce in his stand-up routines.

And it’s not just James Joyce.  I’ve never read any Charles Dickens, Oscar Wilde, W. Somerset Maugham, Joseph Conrad, Jane Austen, Henry James, John Milton, H.G. Wells, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, or William Faulkner.  And I hated Crime and Punishment.  Read it in my Western Lit class in high school.  The crime was that the book was ever written and the punishment was that I had to read it.

Oh, and I think Hemingway sucks.  Yes, he sucks.  His writing blows.  I don’t know how the man got published.  Yeah, I know.  His writing style had a significant impact on the development of 20th century fiction and his works are considered classic American literature, blah blah blah.

But A Farewell to Arms?  Absolute crap. It’s filled with run-on sentences, repetitive use of qualifiers (like VERY lame), and frequent stretches of dialogue involving multiple characters with no indication as to who’s speaking. Plus, the death scene at the end, where Catherine is in the hospital and the main character, Frederic, is trying to comfort her.  I don’t have the book in front of me, but I seem to recall the dialogue going something like this:

“I love you,” he said.  “I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”
She smiled weakly. “And I love you.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you.”

And don’t tell me that’s how they wrote back in the 1920s.  Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, published four years prior to A Farewell to Arms, had beautiful language and believable dialogue.  Hemingway is an overrated hack.

So what is this blog entry actually about and what the hell does it have to do with Breathers or zombies?  Nothing.  Except for the fact that I am obviously not a student of literature and have drawn on none of the famous literary giants in my own writing.  Well, except maybe for Fitzgerald.  Though someone wrote a review of Breathers and mentioned something about channeling Faulkner, which is funny since I’ve never read him, so I have no idea how I channeled the man.
Oh, and I also don’t know what a gerund is.  Though I’m pretty sure I know how to use it.

(Next entry: V is for van Gogh…or maybe Vampires)

What up?  Jerry here, throwing out a guest blog while Andy’s doing time at the SPCA and the hack writer of Breathers is off drinking a Starbucks latte or beating off or whatever the hell writers do when they’re not sitting home alone making up imaginary stories about imaginary characters. What a freak.

Since the previously mentioned freak writer recently blogged about the film rights for Breathers, I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite zombie films of all time.  So without further delay…

Jerry’s Top Five Most Awesome Zombie Flicks

1) Night of the Living Dead – 1968
Dude, it doesn’t get any better than this. Classic zombie munching with a creepy soundtrack. And I totally wanted to eat Cooper. Bald, racist bastard.

2) Dawn of the Dead – 2004
With all respects to Mr. Romero, zombies are fast and furious. Like Vin Diesel. The dude hanging from the pipes in the garage was sweet! Plus I love a happy ending.

3) Zombie – 1979
Fulci throws down enough blood and gore to satisfy even the most jaded zombie. And how can you go wrong with a zombie fighting a shark under water?

4) Planet Terror – 2007
Rose McGowan sporting an assault rifle prosthetic leg is totally hot.  Plus I love Bruce Willis.  Not, like, in a romantic way, just, you know, as an actor.

5) Zombie Strippers – 2008
Dude. Jenna Jamison can eat me any day of the week. Enough said.

So I’ve had some on-line publicity the past week and finally figured I’d get around to putting them all together in one convenient location.  So here you go…

First, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Zombies & Toys, which is actually running a contest for a signed copy of Breathers.  Plus they have some fun zombie schwag.

Second, two new reviews popped up on the zombie radar, one from HorrorScope in Australia and the other from Bookopolis, which is affiliated with the LibraryThing’s Early Reviewer Program.  Both of the reviews were very kind, with the Bookopolis review mentioning Christopher Moore and Chuck Palahniuk, which I find flattering.

Third, I participated in my virgin Podcast last week courtesy of The Fearshop.com.  I have to admit, I realized about halfway through that I filled the gaps of the interview with “ums” and “ahs,” but I think I managed to mine those out of my vocabulary toward the end.

And finally, though this has nothing to do with interviews, reviews, or podcasts, the image above completes the theme of the title and is my brand, spanking new T-shirt I bought from Noisebot.com.