S.G. Browne

This is the first in a series of Fun Facts about Lost Creatures, my new collection of short stories, on sale now. I’ll be sharing these over the next couple of weeks, so I hope you enjoy them.

First up are a couple of Fun Facts about my short story “Remedial English for Reanimated Corpses,” which takes place at Bela Lugosi University, where the werewolves and vampires rule and the zombies most definitely drool.

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LOST CREATURES Fun Fact #1

Professor Warner, who teaches the titular class in “Remedial English for Reanimated Corpses,” is named after Andy Warner, the protagonist and hero of Breathers.

Oh, and “Remedial English for Reanimated Corpses” is available as a Kindle single for the low, low price of FREE until May 22.

LOST CREATURES Fun Fact #2

The idea for “Remedial English for Reanimated Corpses” originated when I was interviewed for the zombie documentary DOC OF THE DEAD and explained my theory that zombies are the nerds of the monster world, while werewolves are the jocks and vampires are the frat boys.

If you click on the DOC OF THE DEAD link, you can watch my explanation, complete with the cartoon graphics below, at the 45:52 mark of the documentary. (I also have contributions at the 20:13, 38:47, and 1:16:02 marks.) If you’ve never seen the documentary and are a zombie and/or pop culture fan, it’s definitely worth the time.

Breathers, my dark comedy and social satire about zombies, is currently being offered as an eBook promotion for just $1.99.

That’s right. For less than a grande coffee from Starbucks or a large frosty from Wendy’s, you can order Breathers from your favorite digital retailer. That includes Amazon Kindle, NOOK for Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Google Play, and Kobo, which is the eBook provider for many independent bookstores.

So if you’ve been thinking about adding a digital version of Breathers to your library, or if you’d like to introduce one of your friends or family members to Andy and the gang for half the price of a McDonald’s Big Mac, act soon as the promotion will only last a short time.

As always, thanks for reading.

I wanted to let you know that my three brand new short stories are now available for pre-order on Amazon. (If you click on the links below, they’ll take you to the individual Amazon pages, where you can read a short description of each story.)

• Remedial English for Reanimated Corpses
• Dr. Sinister’s Home for Retired Villains
• Scattered Showers with a Chance of Daikaiju

The stories will each be published one week apart (August 15, 22, and 29). During the week leading up to the publication of each story, I’ll have a contest where I’ll give away free copies of each title. The contests will be hosted on my Facebook author page and on my Twitter account, so if you’d like to play for a chance to win, head on over and join the fun. If you’re on Facebook, I’ll also be creating an event page for each story’s release where I’ll share additional information about the stories and answer any questions. So I invite you to join me for that, as well.

As I mentioned, these stories will only be published as eBooks and won’t be available in print. In addition, since they are being published as part of Kindle Direct Publishing Select, they won’t be available in iTunes or on Barnes & Noble or other retail sites for at least three months. So if you would like to read them but don’t have a Kindle, you can download free Kindle software from Amazon for your PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, and Android devices.

Also for those of you who don’t live in the United States, the eBooks will be available for purchase on Amazon in the U.K., Germany, Italy, Spain, France, Brazil, Mexico, Canada, India, and Japan, as well as the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library (KOLL) in the U.S, U.K., Germany, France, and Japan.

Stay tuned! More to come!

*UPDATE*
And the winners of the I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus giveaway are…drum roll please… Maria Garcia, John Hornor Jacobs, and Kelly Garbato. Congratulations! And thanks to everyone who left a comment and retweeted on Twitter. May you all have a zombie little Christmas!

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And zombies dressed up like Santa Claus

With Halloween safely in the rear view mirror, we can now, freely and without fear of reprisal, plunge headlong into the holiday season. Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of year and living in San Francisco makes it that much more festive, as the town is all decked out with lights and garland and ornaments and homeless people in Santa hats.

But for me, the holidays bring back fond memories: The smell of freshly baked snickerdoodles; Heat Miser and Cold Miser doing their song and dance; the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack; Judy Garland singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” And when it comes to holiday movies, I’m a sucker for It’s A Wonderful Life.

So to celebrate the dawning of the holiday season, I’m holding a giveaway for three (3) copies of my 2012 novella I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breathers Christmas Carol.

Entering to win is as easy as hanging your stocking: Just respond to this blog post and share what gets you in the holiday spirit, be it a favorite holiday film, TV special, Christmas carol, or the smell of pumpkin pie. Whatever floats your holiday boat. I’ll do a random drawing of all entrants to determine the winners.

TWITTER BONUS: If you’re on Twitter and you re-tweet my post about the contest, that will get you an additional entry into the contest. If you don’t follow me on Twitter, my handle is @s_g_browne.

Contest runs until Friday, November 8 at 11:59pm PST and is open to U.S. residents only. Good luck!

In honor of the upcoming holidays, and the recent publication of my heartwarming Christmas zombie story I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, I thought I’d resurrect Andy’s holiday wish list from Breathers.

But rather than simply providing a list, I wanted to share Andy’s desires in song to the Rodgers and Hammerstein tune, “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music.

And a one and a two…

Blood drops on noses and flesh that’s been bitten,
Pale female corpses who with me are smitten,
Fraternity pledges all tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream colored femurs and crisp Breather strudels,
Eyeballs and earlobes and tonsils with noodles,
Undead Anonymous pot luck meetings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Dead guys in coffins with red gaping gashes,
Corpses that wake up from fatal car crashes,
Embalming treatments and Pine-Sol soakings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the flesh rots,
When the skin slips,
When I lose a limb,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so grim.