S.G. Browne

I know, I know. Halloween is barely a husk of a corpse yet and here we are, talking about Santa Claus and Christmas already. But at least we’ve got a zombie crossover theme to keep us honest. And what better way to celebrate the blending of Halloween and Christmas than with some free signed copies of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus?

That’s right. I’ve got two copies of my new Christmas zombie novella and sequel to Breathers to give away—signed, sealed, delivered, and they’re yours. So what do you have to do to enter for your chance to win a copy? I’m glad you asked.

For those who are familiar with Andy Warner, the hero of Breathers, you’re aware that he was fond of penning an occasional haiku to deal with his less than glamorous existence. Well, in I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, he’s at it again.

So following the 5-7-5 syllable format (I know, I know…in traditional Japanese haiku it’s not really syllables, but we’re not in Japan), write a haiku about zombies. Or about Santa Claus. Or about zombies and Santa Claus. Whatever strikes your fancy. Here’s an example of what Andy came up with:

pine-sol bubble baths
mask the stench of rotting flesh
i smell like christmas

But don’t feel a need to emulate Andy. It’s a broad canvas, so grab your palette of words and have at it. Once you’ve created your masterpiece, share your haiku in the comments below and voila! You’re entered. See, wasn’t that easy?

I’ll pick two winners from the entries. If you choose to include more than one haiku, that still counts as a single entry. Sorry, no stuffing the ballot box.

Contest is open wherever Santa visits good little boys and girls. In other words, everywhere. But the contest ends Thursday, November 15, at 11:59pm PST. So no dawdling.

Ready? Set? Haiku!

As I prepare for the upcoming release of my novella, I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breathers Christmas Carol (coming to a commercialized religious holiday near you October 30), I’ve had a number of people contact me who are confused about the difference between novelettes, novellas, and novels. Well, I’m here to help. Or possibly confuse. I haven’t decided.

According to the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America Nebula awards rules, the novelette has a word count between 7,500 and 17,500, while a novella runs from 17,500 to 40,000 words. Based on this, the novel, whose length has often been debated, begins at 40,000 words and runs from there up to infinity. Or at least up to Infinite Jest, which comes in at just under 500,000 words.

(Fun fact: According to Listverse, the longest novel ever written was Mission Earth by L. Ron Hubbard at 1.2 million words. Take that, Tolkien.)

For the benefit of providing some reference, below are half a dozen of the more notable novellas written in the English language that fit the SFWA’s definition:

The Call of the Wild
Of Mice and Men
Animal Farm
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
The Old Man and the Sea
A Clockwork Orange

Stephen King has published a number of shorter novellas that run in the 25,000-30,000 word range, grouping eight of them into the collections Four Past Midnight and Different Seasons—the latter of which contains “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” and “The Body,” my two favorite King novellas.

In the afterword of Different Seasons, King calls the novella “an anarchy-ridden literary banana republic” and contends that there shouldn’t be a hard and fast definition of what either a novel or short story should be in terms of word count. He goes on to say: “But when a writer approaches the 20,000-word mark, he knows he’s edging out of the country of the short story; likewise, when he passes the 40,000-word mark, he’s edging into the country of the novel.”

Although King doesn’t endorse the SFWA’s delineation of the novella, the 40,000-word mark seems to be where the boundaries are drawn. So while officially categorized as a novella, I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus comes in at just over 44,000 words (and just under 200 pages), which means that according to both the SFWA and Stephen King, I’ve edged over into the country of the novel.

I hope that helps to clear things up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some cross-country exploring to do.

*UPDATE* Due to a change in the group author signing at Book Soup, I will not be appearing in West Hollywood on Tuesday, October 30.

Autumn has arrived and with it a handful of upcoming signings and readings, as well as the release of my zombie holiday novella, I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breathers Christmas Carol, which is scheduled for publication October 30.

I’ll be appearing in San Diego and Burbank for a couple of early signings on October 27 and 28, then following those up with a signing at Book Soup in West Hollywood on October 30. (Both signings in Burbank and West Hollywood are also group signings for the John Skipp edited horror anthologies Psychos, Demons, Werewolves, and Zombies—the last of which contains my short story “A Zombie’s Lament.”)

My only scheduled Bay Area appearance at the moment will take place November 10 in San Francisco.

In addition, I’ll be reading from Lucky Bastard for the San Francisco LitQuake Lit Crawl on October 13 before appearing in New York on October 17 as part of the KGB Bar Reading Series, also for Lucky Bastard. Details for all signings, readings, and events are below:

October 13 – San Francisco, CA
7:15 – 8:15PM (Group Reading)
Lit Crawl SF
Borderlands Books
866 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA

October 17 – New York, NY
7:00PM (Reading & Signing w/John Kessel)
Fantastic Fiction at KGB
KGB Bar
85 E. 4th Street
New York, NY

October 27 – San Diego, CA
2:00PM (Signing)
Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore
7051 Clairemont Mesa Blvd., Suite #302
San Diego, CA

October 28 – Burbank, CA
2:00PM (Group Signing)
Dark Delicacies
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA

October 30 – West Hollywood, CA
7:00PM (Group Signing)
Book Soup
8818 Sunset Blvd.
W. Hollywood CA

November 10 – San Francisco, CA
3:00PM (Reading & Signing)
Borderlands Books
866 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA

Well, August went by pretty fast. Time flies when you’re doing edits and copy edits and galley edits on your zombie novella that’s been pushed up to an October 30 release date, while in between you’re finishing up your next book that you promised to your agent the day after Labor Day.

Yes, for the past month I haven’t had the time to do any writing that doesn’t involve either I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus or Big Egos, thus the dearth of blog posts. Actually, I haven’t done much of anything else, as I’ve been bouncing back and forth from one project to the other—which isn’t always the easiest transition to make, especially when you’re switching from a sentient zombie who is dressed up like Santa Claus to a narrator who sometimes believes he’s Elvis Presley, James Bond, or Captain Kirk, among others.

In case you’re wondering what it’s like to work on two projects at the same time, both of them under deadline, the last month went something like this:

• Turn in first draft of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus on August 1
• Spend three days reintegrating with human beings, who you haven’t seen for the past two weeks and most of the past two months
• Catch a cold and get so sick you can’t write for most of the next week
• Work on edits of your next novel, Big Egos, which you stopped editing at the end of May to start writing your zombie novella
• Receive first round of edits on zombie novella; stop working on Big Egos for 4-5 days
• Send in edited draft of zombie novella; start working on Big Egos again for the next week
• Receive copy edits for zombie novella; spend entire weekend reading your novella out loud—twice; make edits; send back to publisher
• Work on Big Egos for the next ten day, rearranging chapters, fixing plot holes, and tying things together
• Send Big Egos off to agent the Wednesday after Labor Day
• Receive 1st Galley Page edits for I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus; spend all day Thursday reading galley pages out loud and making final fixes
• Take a long bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge on Friday morning, eat some breakfast, watch a couple of episodes of Robot Chicken, and then write this blog post
• Go visit your mother

Now I get the weekend to relax, visit some friends and family, and then start working on Big Egos next week once I get edits back from my agent. Then it’s on to Super Duper. Or maybe another project I’ve been working on. Hmm…

And without further ado, the cover and copy reveal for I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus. Drum roll, please. Oh wait, you can already see it. So much for building up the suspense. Maybe I should have told you to close your eyes first.

No matter. So here you go. That’s the cover over there on your left and the copy hanging out down below the row of asterisks. Just in case you were confused. Which you’re not. I’ll get out of the way, now.

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How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus?

If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you probably wouldn’t understand.

Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost, but who thinks he’s the real Santa.

He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice….

Release date is November 13, 2012.

Available for pre-order at your local independent bookstore, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and wherever books are pre-ordered.