S.G. Browne

To celebrate the fact that I just feel like celebrating something, I’m giving away a fistful of copies of my short story collection Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel: Ten Twisted Tales. How can you enter to win? I’m glad you asked.

While I tend to read novels more than short story collections, I’m a fan of the short form. Some of my favorite collections include The Deportees by Roddy Doyle, St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves by Karen Russell, and Skeleton Crew by Stephen King.

Sometimes entire collections stay with me. Other times, it’s a specific story, like Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” or Franz Kafka’s “The Metamorphosis.” (Technically a novella rather than a short story, but it’s on the short side as far as novellas go.)

However, there’s one short story that tends to stick a little more than the others and which floats around inside of me as if it’s become part of my genetic makeup, and that’s “The Ballad of the Flexible Bullet” by Stephen King (which can be found in Skeleton Crew.)

Which brings us back to the contest. In order to enter for a chance to win, all you have to do is leave a comment to this blog post with your favorite short story or short story collection in the comments. Feel free to elaborate or just post the title. That’s all there is to it.

As I mentioned, I’ll be giving away five (5) copies of Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel, which is available as an eBook for Kindle, Nook, iPad, and Kobo. Since I haven’t been able to figure out how to gift an eBook on Kobo, I’ll be gifting the collection on either Kindle, Nook, or iPad. Winner’s choice.

Now if you’re like me you might be saying: “Hey, I don’t own a Kindle, Nook, or iPad because I like my books to be three-dimensional with actual pages I can turn and on which I can accidentally spill my cappuccino without having to fork over a few hundred bucks to get a new one. How can I get a hard copy of Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel?”

The answer is: You can’t. But what you can do is download free software from Amazon or Barnes & Noble for your desktop or laptop or smart phone. (They also have options for Mac. Or I believe you can just use iTunes.) In any case, even if you don’t own an eReader, you can still win a copy of Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel and read it on your computer.

And now for the disclaimers:

• Contest open only to residents of the United States.
• Contest ends Sunday, June 8, 2014, at 11:59pm PST.
• Multiple comments are allowed but will count as a single entry. However you can re-tweet the post on my Twitter account for another chance to win.

Thanks for playing and good luck!

Would you like a chance to win a signed/personalized copy of my latest novel Big Egos? Would you like to help spread the word about Big Egos and give a shout out to your favorite bookstore?

You can do all three. Here’s how!

1) Go to your local brick and mortar bookstore, find Big Egos on the shelves, and take a photo of it out in the wild. (*If you don’t have a local bookstore, you can still enter the giveaway. Keep reading.)

2) Post the photo to your Twitter stream or Facebook timeline, mention Big Egos and the name of the bookstore, and mention/tag me. (On Twitter, my handle is @s_g_browne. On Facebook, tag me using my S.G. Browne Author Page. I believe you have to Like my author page before you can tag it.)

It’s important to tag/mention me using my Facebook author page and Twitter handle; otherwise, I won’t know that you entered the giveaway.

That’s all there is to it. And yes, you can enter twice: once on Facebook and once on Twitter.

Now, if you don’t have a local bookstore you can still play along. Here’s how.

1) Go to your favorite online bookstore, search for Big Egos, click on the link to the order page for the book, then copy and paste the link for the order page on to your Facebook timeline or Twitter stream and mention Big Egos and the name of the bookstore, while tagging or mentioning me as indicated above.

Boom. That’s all there is to it. Again, make sure to tag/mention me so I know you’ve entered.

The idea of the giveaway is to share the love both for Big Egos and for your favorite bookstore. Ideally that favorite bookstore is a local independent. But if you enjoy shopping at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, the Apple iBookstore, or someplace else, those count as valid entries, too.

If you don’t have a local bookstore but have a favorite independent bookstore you’ve visited, feel free to link to them. I have a few of my favorites listed on my info page for Big Egos.

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For every 10 entries, I will be giving away 1 signed/personalized copy of Big Egos.

Giveaway open to U.S. residents only. Don’t hate me.

Giveaway will be like Fight Club: It will go on as long as it has to. Or until the end of Burning Man, whichever comes first.

Any questions? Feel free to ask in the comments. Otherwise, good luck. And thanks for sharing the love!

…Jaime Amos, Tommy Noble, and Jennifer Brownell-Wheeler.

Congratulations! I’ll be dropping your signed copies of Lucky Bastard in the mail just as soon as I get your addresses.

As for everyone else, thank you for all of your comments, shares, and retweets. I enjoyed reading about your various good luck charms and always appreciate having the word spread about my books. You all rock.

And stay tuned, as I’ll be having some more giveaways during The Summer of Bastards and Egos.

Thanks to everyone who participated in the I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus Holiday Haiku Giveaway. The haiku ranged from dark to funny to oddly arousing and made it difficult for me, I mean for Andy, to pick a winner.

It took him a while to narrow the entries from twenty down to six, then four, then three. At that point, Andy couldn’t narrow it down any more, so instead of two winners receiving a signed copy of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, he decided there should be three winners.

Congratulations to Kim Miner, Buck Swindle, and Russell Rheingrover for their winning zombie holiday haiku!

Under mistletoe
He leans in, I blow his mind
with a shotgun blast
—Kim Miner

Stocking hung with care
Christmas sweater, photo time
Check my teeth for flesh
—Buck Swindle

Santa meets undead
Look out don’t get bit OH NO!
Now he’s Zombie Claus
—Russell Rheingrover

Thank you to everyone who took the time to compose a haiku and share your zombie holiday poetry. It’s only fun if others play along, so I appreciate your participation and support. You. Are. Awesome.

Have yourself a zombie little Christmas.

I know, I know. Halloween is barely a husk of a corpse yet and here we are, talking about Santa Claus and Christmas already. But at least we’ve got a zombie crossover theme to keep us honest. And what better way to celebrate the blending of Halloween and Christmas than with some free signed copies of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus?

That’s right. I’ve got two copies of my new Christmas zombie novella and sequel to Breathers to give away—signed, sealed, delivered, and they’re yours. So what do you have to do to enter for your chance to win a copy? I’m glad you asked.

For those who are familiar with Andy Warner, the hero of Breathers, you’re aware that he was fond of penning an occasional haiku to deal with his less than glamorous existence. Well, in I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, he’s at it again.

So following the 5-7-5 syllable format (I know, I know…in traditional Japanese haiku it’s not really syllables, but we’re not in Japan), write a haiku about zombies. Or about Santa Claus. Or about zombies and Santa Claus. Whatever strikes your fancy. Here’s an example of what Andy came up with:

pine-sol bubble baths
mask the stench of rotting flesh
i smell like christmas

But don’t feel a need to emulate Andy. It’s a broad canvas, so grab your palette of words and have at it. Once you’ve created your masterpiece, share your haiku in the comments below and voila! You’re entered. See, wasn’t that easy?

I’ll pick two winners from the entries. If you choose to include more than one haiku, that still counts as a single entry. Sorry, no stuffing the ballot box.

Contest is open wherever Santa visits good little boys and girls. In other words, everywhere. But the contest ends Thursday, November 15, at 11:59pm PST. So no dawdling.

Ready? Set? Haiku!