S.G. Browne

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus Haiku Giveaway

I know, I know. Halloween is barely a husk of a corpse yet and here we are, talking about Santa Claus and Christmas already. But at least we’ve got a zombie crossover theme to keep us honest. And what better way to celebrate the blending of Halloween and Christmas than with some free signed copies of I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus?

That’s right. I’ve got two copies of my new Christmas zombie novella and sequel to Breathers to give away—signed, sealed, delivered, and they’re yours. So what do you have to do to enter for your chance to win a copy? I’m glad you asked.

For those who are familiar with Andy Warner, the hero of Breathers, you’re aware that he was fond of penning an occasional haiku to deal with his less than glamorous existence. Well, in I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, he’s at it again.

So following the 5-7-5 syllable format (I know, I know…in traditional Japanese haiku it’s not really syllables, but we’re not in Japan), write a haiku about zombies. Or about Santa Claus. Or about zombies and Santa Claus. Whatever strikes your fancy. Here’s an example of what Andy came up with:

pine-sol bubble baths
mask the stench of rotting flesh
i smell like christmas

But don’t feel a need to emulate Andy. It’s a broad canvas, so grab your palette of words and have at it. Once you’ve created your masterpiece, share your haiku in the comments below and voila! You’re entered. See, wasn’t that easy?

I’ll pick two winners from the entries. If you choose to include more than one haiku, that still counts as a single entry. Sorry, no stuffing the ballot box.

Contest is open wherever Santa visits good little boys and girls. In other words, everywhere. But the contest ends Thursday, November 15, at 11:59pm PST. So no dawdling.

Ready? Set? Haiku!


SF LitQuake, New York, and October Signings

*UPDATE* Due to a change in the group author signing at Book Soup, I will not be appearing in West Hollywood on Tuesday, October 30.

Autumn has arrived and with it a handful of upcoming signings and readings, as well as the release of my zombie holiday novella, I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus: A Breathers Christmas Carol, which is scheduled for publication October 30.

I’ll be appearing in San Diego and Burbank for a couple of early signings on October 27 and 28, then following those up with a signing at Book Soup in West Hollywood on October 30. (Both signings in Burbank and West Hollywood are also group signings for the John Skipp edited horror anthologies Psychos, Demons, Werewolves, and Zombies—the last of which contains my short story “A Zombie’s Lament.”)

My only scheduled Bay Area appearance at the moment will take place November 10 in San Francisco.

In addition, I’ll be reading from Lucky Bastard for the San Francisco LitQuake Lit Crawl on October 13 before appearing in New York on October 17 as part of the KGB Bar Reading Series, also for Lucky Bastard. Details for all signings, readings, and events are below:

October 13 – San Francisco, CA
7:15 – 8:15PM (Group Reading)
Lit Crawl SF
Borderlands Books
866 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA

October 17 – New York, NY
7:00PM (Reading & Signing w/John Kessel)
Fantastic Fiction at KGB
85 E. 4th Street
New York, NY

October 27 – San Diego, CA
2:00PM (Signing)
Mysterious Galaxy Bookstore
7051 Clairemont Mesa Blvd., Suite #302
San Diego, CA

October 28 – Burbank, CA
2:00PM (Group Signing)
Dark Delicacies
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA

October 30 – West Hollywood, CA
7:00PM (Group Signing)
Book Soup
8818 Sunset Blvd.
W. Hollywood CA

November 10 – San Francisco, CA
3:00PM (Reading & Signing)
Borderlands Books
866 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA


I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus

And without further ado, the cover and copy reveal for I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus. Drum roll, please. Oh wait, you can already see it. So much for building up the suspense. Maybe I should have told you to close your eyes first.

No matter. So here you go. That’s the cover over there on your left and the copy hanging out down below the row of asterisks. Just in case you were confused. Which you’re not. I’ll get out of the way, now.


How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus?

If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you probably wouldn’t understand.

Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost, but who thinks he’s the real Santa.

He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice….

Release date is November 13, 2012.

Available for pre-order at your local independent bookstore, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and wherever books are pre-ordered.


Breathers Christmas Novella

For those of you who were wondering what happened to Andy after the end of Breathers, you’ll get your chance to find out in a Christmas-themed novella I’m working on that is scheduled for release this November. And while it is a sequel, my intention is to write it so that it can also stand on its own.

While I’m not going to give away any spoilers, I will say that for various reasons most of the secondary characters in the original won’t be making an appearance in the sequel. It’s possible that one or more of them could find their way into the narrative, but Andy is still the hero and this is a continuation of his story.

However, I always said that I wouldn’t write a sequel to Breathers unless I could come up with something that didn’t just regurgitate the same ideas and concepts I introduced in the original, so this one’s going to focus on some different aspects of Andy’s existence as a zombie. But I do plan to include some elements that fans of Breathers will hopefully recognize and enjoy.

The title is still being worked out, but as soon as I have a final decision, I’ll be sure to share it with you. What I can tell you is that the story takes place in Portland, OR and opens a week or so before Christmas, nearly a year after the end of Breathers, and starts out with the line:

“I wake up on the ground in darkness.”

Filed under: Breathers,Zombies — Tags: , — S.G. Browne @ 6:51 am

Hollywood Endings Not Served Here

I don’t deal in happy endings or plots that don’t leave anything unresolved. The best you’re going to get from me is an ambiguous final chapter with the ultimate outcome for the main character yet to be decided. Possibly in a sequel but not necessarily. And even if there is a sequel, the ending of that one is probably going to leave some loose strings.

So if you like your endings wrapped up in a nice tidy package with a big shiny bow, then you’re probably better off watching a Hollywood movie.

But life isn’t like a Hollywood movie. Things are always left unresolved, and my novels echo that. I realize a lot of people read books and watch movies so that they can escape from reality and have the satisfaction of coming away feeling like someone rose above their circumstances. It gives us hope in our own lives that maybe it can happen to us, too.

The guy gets the girl.
The heroine overcomes her fear.
The underdog saves the day.

The truth is, things don’t always work out the way we want them to.

You don’t find Prince Charming.
You don’t overcome your fears.
You don’t realize your dreams.

And that’s what I like to write about. How things don’t always work out. Or how they might work out in one fashion, but ultimately the ending isn’t what the main character had hoped for. So if you’re picking up one of my books expecting a Hollywood ending, then you’re probably not going to get what you want. But if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.

With apologies to Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones.

Filed under: Breathers,Fated,Lucky Bastard,The Writing Life — S.G. Browne @ 7:57 pm