Douchebag Nation
douche·bag (doosh´bag) n. [L ductio saccus] 1. a small syringe having detachable nozzles for fluid injections, used chiefly for vaginal lavage and for enemas; 2. [Slang] a contemptible or despicable person. Also, douche bag
While “douchebag” or “douche bag” has come to have multiple meanings to different people in different situations, the most common use is synonymous with people (usually men) who self-consciously try a little too hard to be hip or cool, such as overgrown frat boys, guys who wear muscle shirts, and anyone who has ever been on Jersey Shore.
The Urban Dictionary lists numerous variations of meanings for douchebag, including jerk, asshole, moron, and anyone who wears wife-beaters or sun visors on backwards. But the definition from Urban Dictionary that best describes a douchebag is someone who has “an inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a lack of social grace and self-awareness and who behaves inappropriately in public, yet is completely ignorant to how pathetic he (or she) appears to others.”
The key wording here is the lack of social grace and the inappropriate behavior in public. More specifically, the lack of courtesy given to others that, in my opinion, defines a douchebag. And in today’s society of self-absorption and technological distraction, you don’t have to look far to find a douchebag.
There are cellular douchebags, checking their smart phones in movie theaters or talking at the table in restaurants while ignoring the people who are actually present. There are cyber douchebags (aka trolls) posting inflammatory and off-topic messages. There are cycling douchebags, blowing through stop signs and traffic signals or refusing to drop into single file to allow others to pass. And there are picnic douchebags who can manage to cart all of their crap to the beach or public park but can’t seem to cart their garbage back out.
Douchebags here. Douchebags there. Douchebags, douchebags everywhere!
It’s almost like they belong in a Dr. Seuss rhyme.
I do not like them in a park, or when they’re texting in the dark.
I do not like them on a bike, or when they litter on a hike.
I do not like them on my blog, or when I step in poop from their dog.
I do not like douchebags who spam, I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Over the past few years douchebags have begun to proliferate at an alarming rate, creating a culture of courtesy criminals—a large percentage of whom are addicted to their smart phones. Recent studies have shown that 1 in 10 people living in the United States today are douchebags. With all of the new technology being developed that will enable us to spend more and more time in our own little cyber bubbles of self-absorption, that number is expected to increase to 3 in 10 people by 2020.
We are becoming a nation of douchebags.
So the next time you’re on a bus or in a movie theater or at the beach, look around and try to spot the douchebag. Once you find him or her, let them know that their behavior is inappropriate and displays a complete lack of courtesy to their fellow man. If for any reason you can’t find the douchebag in the crowd, then perhaps you need to take a closer look.
Maybe the douchebag is you.
