S.G. Browne

You Go To The Crypticon Convention…

You fly up to Everett, WA, for Crypticon, a three-year-old horror convention, where you do a signing at Borders with F. Paul Wilson, John Skipp, Cody Goodfellow, and Nick Mamatas. No one comes to the signing. Well, almost no one. But you get to hang out with these other writers and have dinner with them at the Hunan Palace across from the Holiday Inn where you’re staying, so it’s okay. You don’t really want to sell any books, anyway.

You spend Friday hanging out with Tim Long and Jonathan Moon from Library of the Living Dead, getting pizza with John Skipp and Cody Goodfellow and Nick Mamatas in beautiful downtown Everett right across from Aladdin Bail Bonds, attending a couple of panels, and having drinks with F. Paul Wilson and talking about all of the annoying writers who pump out 2500 words a day on a regular basis. You’re joined at your table for drinks by Heather Langenkamp, Amanda Wyss, and Brooke Bundy from the Nightmare on Elm Street series. You give them Zombies Are People Too buttons, which is pretty cool.

You wake up Saturday at 6:30am to some ass slamming the hotel room door next to you and then turn on the TV to ESPN and watch some guy from The Netherlands soccer team flop like a little girl and writhe on the ground after getting accidentally slapped in the face. This is why you hate soccer and the World Cup. It’s filled with crybabies like this guy. You can’t wait for football season to start.

You spend the rest of Saturday hanging out with Kelly Young and Jenna Pittman (who helped to get you invited to Crypticon as a guest, thank you very much), having a great conversation with a couple who dressed up as Andy and Rita from Breathers at your book signing last year in Seattle, hanging out with Mark Henry, sharing a standing-room- only panel with him and several other zombie “experts,” moderating a panel with F. Paul Wilson, John Skipp, and William F. Nolan, hanging out with Jeff Burk, Cameron C. Pierce, and Rose O’Keefe of Eraserhead Press, and attending a Bizarro performance of Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen. (The bear is played by Cameron C. Pierce).

You finish off Saturday by doing a reading of the first three chapters of Fated, followed by a reading of “Zombie Gigolo” (which will appear in The Living Dead 2 this September), followed by the questionable decision to sing “Fly Me to the Moon” at karaoke at the Hunan Palace, which reminds you why you’re not a professional singer. You also drink one too many greyhounds.

You wake up Sunday and turn on the TV and realize you forgot to pack your Advil. On ESPN, New Zealand ties Italy 1-1 in the World Cup and according to the announcer, this apparently is one of the great moments in the history of the World Cup. A tie. This is another reason why you can’t wait for football season to start.

You spend your Sunday hosting a couple of panels that have more panelists than audience members, the first one on Remaking Romero and the second on How To Survive a Horror Movie, but it’s fun anyway, especially when a dog starts chewing on a human arm, then you say your goodbyes to all of the wonderful people you met or who you had the pleasure of spending time with again before you catch a ride to SeaTac, which actually provides free WiFi, unlike SFO and LAX, which are capitalistic whores of airports.

You look forward to doing this all again next year.

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Filed under: Conventions — Tags: , , — S.G. Browne @ 9:32 pm

6 Comments »

  1. thats awesome i wish i could have been there to see you speak, im excited for your next book

    Comment by Paul — June 21, 2010 @ 11:34 pm

  2. I had no idea you were going to be in Everett. That is where I live and work and I would have come to see you.

    Roar on!

    Comment by Ty Robb — June 22, 2010 @ 7:38 am

  3. Glad we could be part of your Crypticon experience. We really would have been at your panels if we hadn’t had other obligations. Maybe next year we can plan a little better. Let us know when your next signing in the Seattle area is gonna be, and Andy and Rita will be there again.

    Comment by Tori — June 22, 2010 @ 2:43 pm

  4. Paul, I’m excited for my next book, too. Thanks.

    Ty, I don’t know where anyone lives anymore, but sorry we missed each other. I’ll be in Seattle over Halloween weekend for ZomBcon, if that works.

    Tori, the pleasure was mine. I’ll make sure to let Andy and Rita know when my next Seattle area signing will be.

    Comment by admin — June 22, 2010 @ 4:45 pm

  5. Damn my eyes! I was there! And didn’t meet you, totally, and quite obviously, my bad. But you’ll be back to Seattle and I’m thrilled for that. I’ve been sharing my copy of Breathers for the past 6 months and everyone who reads it loves it, and you too! Thanks for coming up and doing what you do. Take care!

    Comment by Jasmine — June 25, 2010 @ 8:03 am

  6. Thanks for sharing the Breathers love, Jasmine. I’ll see you in October.

    Comment by admin — June 26, 2010 @ 6:03 pm

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