S.G. Browne

Undead Anonymous

For the recently reanimated, getting used to your undeath can be a challenge. In addition to the stigma associated with spontaneous resurrection and the constant threats of dismemberment and immolation by a society that no longer considers you human, there are a number of physical challenges that most new zombies aren’t prepared to face. Like the emotional fallout from a rapidly digesting pancreas, the embarrassment of having one of your main body cavities burst open, or the frustration of trying to keep your tissues from liquefying. Just to name a few.

At Undead Anonymous, we’re here to help.

Sponsored by the Department of Resurrection and the SPCA, Undead Anonymous offers a safe, nurturing environment for zombies to gather. Whether you’ve died in a car accident, been stabbed to death, beaten to death, mauled by dogs, committed suicide, choked on your own vomit, or just plain died of a heart attack, at Undead Anonymous, you’ll find the guidance you need to navigate your new existence.

So stop by and join one of our meetings, get to know some of your fellow zombies, and discover that there is life after undeath.

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Filed under: Zombies — S.G. Browne @ 9:35 pm

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