S.G. Browne

Ordinary Zombie

A friend asked me what the difference was between an ordinary zombie and a dysfunctional zombie.  So I explained.

An ordinary zombie is just dealing with the fact that he has no rights and that he has to obey the rules of a discriminatory society that reviles him, all while dealing with his gradually decomposing body and the smell of hydrogen sulphide escaping from his various orifices and the embarrassment of having one of his main body cavities burst open in public.

A dysfunctional zombie, on the other hand, would be subversive and belligerent and would likely end up being sent off to the county redistribution center to be used for cadaver impact testing or left out to rot on a hill to help in the scientific study of criminal forensics.  Or else he could end up with his head in a chicken roasting pan at a face-lift refresher course for budding plastic surgeons.

Filed under: Zombies — S.G. Browne @ 8:41 am

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