S.G. Browne

We’ve hit the halfway point in my list of Favorite Novels from A to Z, and I have to wax cliché when I say that the letter M doesn’t hold a candle to the books that topped the list for the letter L. But when your favorite and most influential books you’ve ever read take the stage, whatever comes next is going to be a bit of a letdown. However, that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy them.

Some of the books that didn’t make this week’s list include The Maltese Falcon (Hammett), Mr. X (Straub), Mr. Murder and Midnight (Koontz), and Maximum Bob (Leonard). I never read The Martian Chronicles (Bradbury), Mysteries of Pittsburgh (Chabon), or Mystic River (Lehane), though I enjoyed the film versions.

King of the mountain:
Misery, Stephen King
At less than 340 pages, this is one of King’s shortest reads, which helps to increase the tension as writer Paul Sheldon, injured in a car accident, is held prisoner in a remote cabin by his biggest fan. Annie Wilkes is one of King’s most memorable characters (probably due to Kathy Bates portrayal in the film). But in the movie, Annie just breaks his ankle with a sledge hammer. In the book, she cuts off his foot with an axe and cauterizes his severed ankle with a blow torch. Ouch.

Second fiddle:
Mirror Mirror, Gregory Maguire
An intriguing retelling of the Snow White story by the author of Wicked (which I personally feel was far superior to the Broadway musical adaptation, but I digress.) While not as clever or as memorable as his debut novel, Mirror Mirror does a great job of creating a dark world that existed 600 years ago with beautiful prose, twisting the Snow White legend around, and giving us a very different perspective of the seven dwarfs. Enchanting.

Third is the word:
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, Robert C. O’Brien
One of my favorite books I read when I was a kid, right up there with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and The Phantom Tollbooth. The idea of rats with intelligence that enables them to read, write, and create their own society was enthralling to read as a child. A wonderful adventure that incorporates themes of friendship and cooperation. Read it again for the first time.

Classic Literature Razzie #3:
Moby Dick, Herman Melville
I know this is supposed to be the Great American Novel and that it’s another one of those books that serious writers are supposed to love and be influenced by and rave about, but I found it painful and laborious. Which I guess excludes me from the Serious Writers’ Club. Talk all you want about symbolism and metaphor and social commentary. What you’ve got is a boatload of seamen chasing after a giant sperm whale named Moby Dick. Not a lot of subtle nuance there.

After struggling to find books for the last two letters of the alphabet, I have a glut of novels I’ve read for the letter L, including The Lord of the Rings (Tolkien), Less Than Zero (Ellis), The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Lewis), The Lost World (Crichton), The Lottery (Jackson), and The Little Sleep (Tremblay).

While the first two selections were never in doubt, I found myself having to make a tough call for the final spot. In the end, what it came down to was what I would pick up right now to read again, so I ended up leaving Lolita (Nabokov) and Life of Pi (Martel) on the outside looking in.

Numero Uno:
Lord of the Flies, William Golding
If I had to name one book to take with me on a desert island, it would be, ironically, this one. The allegorical themes of human nature and loss of innocence aside, the story, characters, and writing are unforgettable. SPOILER ALERT: If by some bizarre reason you haven’t read this book, I’m going to ruin it for you right now, so you might want to stop reading. I can still see the pig’s head on a stick surrounded by flies, Piggy getting killed by the boulder, and Simon’s body floating out to sea – which is one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve ever read. My favorite book of all time. I’ve got the conch!

Second in command:
Lullaby, Chuck Palahniuk
Had I not read this novel in October of 2002 while on a plane to Paris, I don’t know if I would have ever written Breathers. While I’d written short stories that were dark comedy, I’d never considered turning one of them into a full-length novel prior to reading Lullaby, which spoke to me in a way I’d never been spoken to before. Smart, dark, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, this is my favorite Palahniuk novel and one of the most influential books I’ve ever read.

Last but not least:
Lamb, Christopher Moore
If Lullaby is my favorite Palahniuk novel, this is my favorite by Moore. Subtitled as The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, it recounts the lost years of Jesus through the eyes of “Levi bar Alphaeus who is called Biff.” I found myself laughing, enthralled, educated, appalled, and thoroughly entertained all at the same time. You’ll never look at Christianity the same way again.

Book that made me eat more vegetables:
Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite
In 2000, while training for a sprint triathlon, I cut back on my consumption of meat because eating it weighed me down and seemed counterproductive to my training. After the triathlon, while reading Lost Souls, which contains scenes of vampires drinking wine bottles of blood, I cut into a medium rare steak, took one bite, and realized I had no desire to eat meat any more. (Though, to be honest, I will eat a double chili cheese burger from Tommy’s when I’m in Los Angeles. And bacon smells good.)

Apparently, I’ve stumbled into a bit of a literary desert here, as I’m struggling to find titles of books I’ve read that begin with the letters J and K. At least with my previous entry I was able to come up with three titles, but I’ve searched my bookshelves and online databases and my gradually deteriorating memory and could only come up with two books I’ve read that begin with the letter K. (And To Kill a Mockingbird falls under T, so I can’t include it here.)

However, both of the titles below are worthy of making the list. There are no charity cases here. Though this one was too close to call.

Wins by a nose:
Kockroach, Tyler Knox
Even if you’ve never read Kafka’s Metamorphosis, you’ll get a kick out of this tale about a cockroach who wakes up one morning in 1950s era New York to discover that he’s become human. Narrated in alternating chapters from the POVs of the three main characters, Kockroach is a dark, humorous, literary noir that puts a whole new twist on the search for the American dream.

A close second:
The Keep, F. Paul Wilson
This is another one of the novels that influenced me in the early stages of my desire to become a writer. Set in a Nazi occupied castle in 1941 Romania, the book is packed full of chills and mystery and folklore. One of my favorite horror novels of all time. Unfortunately, it’s tough to find a copy at retail price anymore but if you can get your hands on one and you enjoy a good horror novel, you won’t be disappointed.

I think this is the first post where all three books were all made into films. And, unless my brain is more full of cobwebs than I realize, I believe I saw all three of these in the theater before I read the novels.

However, I will be honest and say that none of these three would make my Top 50 books of all time. Maybe not even the Top 100. I really should make that list. But since I’m doing this alphabetically, every letter gets to participate.

So with that enthusiastic build-up, here are my favorite novels that start with the letter J:

Number 1:
Jurassic Park, Michael Crichton
Whether you consider it a straight science fiction novel or a cautionary tale on biological tinkering, the novel is a lot of fun, especially to imagine that it could be possible. One of the aspects I enjoyed most about the book as opposed to the film was that the Velociraptors, not the T-Rex, were the star dinosaurs. The whole storyline about them breeding and getting off the island by boat was left out of the movie.

Number 2:
Jaws, Peter Benchley
I saw the film when I was nine years old and that was pretty much it for me ever taking up surfing. While it’s tough to beat Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, and Richard Dreyfuss, I still enjoyed the book, which I read just a few years after seeing the movie. But I can’t help but think the film had some impact on the book ending up on this list.

Number 3:
The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
Again, a book I’d read after the film, the book was written in vignettes from the different POVs of four immigrant Chinese mothers and their daughters who live in San Francisco. I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that I liked it. How’s that for a ringing endorsement?

Favorite Short Story Collection:
Just After Sunset, Stephen King
Not my favorite of all time, but I didn’t have another J book to slot into the wild card spot. So I went with this one. Not King’s best collection (that nod goes to Skeleton Crew), but enough to renew my appreciation in his short stories. Plus he’s got a way with words that I can’t help but appreciate. He’s just a good storyteller.

While there’s no “I” in team, there are plenty of “I’s” in my library of books I’ve read. More, so far, than any other letter of the alphabet.

There’s The Informers (Ellis), Infected (Sigler), If You Could See Me Now (Straub), The Icarus Agenda (Ludlum), I Never Promised You A Rose Garden (Green), Interview With A Vampire (Rice), IT (King), and Insomnia (King again).

The three that made it on my list are a diverse group of non-linear dark comedy, true crime, and science fiction/horror. So without further ado, here are my favorite novels that begin with the letter I:

Top of the heap:
Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
While not my favorite Palahniuk novel, it’s in the top three and has one of the best opening paragraphs of any book I’ve ever read along with one of my favorite quotes: “Another thing is no matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.” Told in a non-linear style that from the POV of a disfigured supermodel, the writing is crisp, fast-paced, and quintessential Palahniuk.

Next in line:
In Cold Blood, Truman Capote
Possibly the only non-fiction entry to make the list, Capote’s book about the brutal murders of a Kansas family in 1959 is often regarded by critics as a pioneer of the true crime novel. While the book has been criticized for its factual account of the events, there’s no denying Capote’s talent and masterful use of the written word.

Bringing up the rear:
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Although George Romero credits this novel with being the inspiration for his film Night of the Living Dead, I will still argue that the book is about a vampire apocalypse, not zombies. Still, if you’re a zombie fan, Matheson’s novel is often considered as being influential in the development of the zombie genre and the concept of a worldwide disease apocalypse. If you saw the Will Smith film, you should read the novel to understand why the book lives up to its title and the film cops out.

Second favorite epic poem in dactylic hexameter:
The Iliad, Homer
I’m a sucker for Greek mythology. I wonder what my favorite epic poem might be?