S.G. Browne

I’m not one of those cool, edgy writers you see all over the place. I don’t listen to Nine Inch Nails or Metallica and I didn’t go through a Goth phase in high school or take up smoking. And I don’t dress all in black and wear Doc Martens to show my rebellious side. Hell, I own the soundtracks to Saturday Night Fever and Grease and I don’t think any party mix is complete without “Get Down Tonight” by KC & the Sunshine Band.

So instead of Metallica, you’re more likely to find me listening to The Beatles or Weezer. In high school I went through a preppy phase and wore button-fly 501s and Izod shirts and had three pair of Sperry Topsiders. My favorite band was Night Ranger and I had a haircut like Rick Springfield. And the closest I get now to being rebellious is listening to old Green Day or not coming to a full stop at a STOP sign.

Rather than black jeans and leather, I’m most comfortable in board shorts and T-shirts. I wear classic Ray Ban Wayfarers. And I own half a dozen Hawaiian shirts. If I could I would go barefoot all of the time. When I do wear shoes, I like my Chuck Taylors. And whereas most writers drink scotch or whiskey, I can’t stand the stuff. Chalk it up to a couple of bad experiences in high school with Chivas Regal and Jack Daniels. Give me a Guinness or a mojito, or any rum drink, and I’m good to go.

Oh, and that thing about writers and coffee? I never developed the habit. Sure, I’ll have an occasional cappuccino or mocha but never just a cup of straight coffee. I was 44 years old before I lost my virginity to Starbucks and Peet’s. And that was only because I was doing research for my next novel, Lucky Bastard.

So that’s me in a nutshell. Or in a beach chair with a cold Corona and some colorful board shorts. Now if you’ll excuse me, “I’m Your Boogie Man” by KC & the Sunshine Band is rocking on my iTunes.

Hello 2012. Pleasure to meet you. How have you been? What’s that? You’ve got some news to share? And it has to do with shooting monkeys and lucky bastards? Well, now, that does sound interesting. Tell me more…

On March 27 I’ll be releasing an e-book collection of ten short stories titled Shooting Monkeys in a Barrel. Details on pricing and availability are TBD but you’ll be able to get it for your Kindle, Nook, iPad, and any other e-reader you might be partial to. While it’s not available for pre-order yet, you can read a description of the ten stories included in the collection on my previous blog post Zombie Gigolos, Luck Poachers, & Dream Girls.

Three weeks later, on April 17, my third novel, Lucky Bastard, will be released into the wild in hardcover. Although the final cover hasn’t yet been approved, you can click on the link to read a description of the book and pre-order if you’re so inclined. You can also read a brief description below:

Nick Monday is a private detective with a penchant for coffeehouse baristas and the ability to steal other people’s luck. Politicians and celebrities. Lottery winners and game show contestants. Accident survivors and successful athletes. All it takes is a handshake and Nick walks away with their good fortune, which he sells on the black market to the highest bidder. But lately, business has been slow.

So when the sexy daughter of San Francisco’s mayor offers Nick $100,000 to find her father’s stolen luck, Nick thinks this is his big break. But he soon ends up blackmailed by the feds, kidnapped by the Chinese mafia, and accosted by vegans and angry naked women with knives…all while trying to save a ten-year-old kid with the purest luck he’s ever seen.

Finally, on July 17, I’ll have another short story appearing in the anthology 21st Century Dead, edited by Christopher Golden. “Reality Bites” is a short story about the lengths a couple of Hollywood producers will go to in order to have the #1 rated zombie reality show.

That’s it for now. More updates to come as release dates get closer. And thanks for the good news, 2012. This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I attended a writers and agents conference in New York a couple of years back and sat in on a panel where writers would read their query letters out loud to agents. The agents, in turn, would tell the writer to stop reading at the point in which one of the agents would stop reading the query letter and move on to the next one.

It was a harsh but illuminating experience for all of the unpublished writers in attendance, as not a single query letter made it longer than 10-15 seconds before getting the hook.

And they got the hook because they lacked a hook. That’s what you need to catch an agent’s attention. A good hook in the first few sentences that makes him (or her) want to keep reading. This is followed up with a couple of paragraphs that provide an engaging description of the key elements of your book, then capped off with a brief one paragraph description about you. The cook.

The hook, the book, and the cook.

While this isn’t the only way to write a query letter, it’s a fairly standard and successful method that has been espoused by a number of literary agents as well as on www.AgentQuery.com, which is a good place to not only find potential agents but to also find advice on querying and on agents in general. It also provides examples and suggestions for hooks and a description of what to include in your book and cook sections for your query letter.

AgentQuery.com is where I found my agent, Michelle Brower, back in November 2007 . This was after 15 months and 82 agents who passed on my novel. So the lesson there is: Don’t give up

The query letter I sent to Michelle for Breathers was included in the Writer’s Digest series “Successful Queries” back in July 2009. If you’re interested, you can read my query letter and my agent’s commentary on my query by CLICKING HERE.

I was going to blog about my Top Ten Holiday Films, but I decided that was about as original as picking the New York Yankees to get to the World Series. Besides, it’s not like there would be a whole lot of surprises:

It’s A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, Elf, The Santa Clause, Bad Santa, Miracle on 34th Street, Die Hard, and The Family Man. Though I’m not sure how many lists would have included Edward Scissorhands (yes, the climax takes place at Christmas) or Planes, Trains and Automobiles (true, it’s Thanksgiving, but last I checked that was still a holiday.)

So now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are my Top Ten Holiday Songs and the artists who sing my favorite versions:

“Winter Wonderland” (Louis Armstrong)
I love me some Louis Armstrong and no other version of “Winter Wonderland” hits the same notes with me as this one. This song is playing at the beginning of Chapter 50 in Breathers. Sing it, Satchmo.

“Happy Xmas” (John Lennon)
Yes, it’s a bit of a political song, but The Beatles are my favorite all time band and Lennon my favorite songwriter of the group, so this one makes the list. Plus I love the Harlem Community Choir signing in the background.

“A Holly Jolly Christmas” (Burl Ives)
This is the classic version from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that always makes me feel like a kid again. I can almost hear the reindeer up on the roof.

“Christmas Time Is Here” (Vince Guaraldi)
This vocal choir version from A Charlie Brown Christmas is such a sweet holiday song and the instrumentals are absolutely beautiful. See “A Holly Jolly Christmas” for the way this song makes me feel.

“The Christmas Song” (Nat King Cole)
The perfect song to appreciate your friends or family or that special someone around the fire or the Christmas tree. Thanks Nat.

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” (Petula Clark & Rod McKuen)
The most playful and risque version of this song I’ve heard. And you’ve got to love a holiday song about a guy who’s working hard to get some cold weather action.

“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” (Judy Garland)
This is the It’s A Wonderful Life of Christmas songs. Sweet and poignant and filled with hope. No one owns “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” like Judy Garland.

“It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” (Andy Williams)
No other song gets me revved up for Christmas like this version by Andy Williams. For some reason, it always manages to give me goosebumps.

“Father Christmas” (The Kinks)
I’ve always been a fan of the Kinks and came across this gem of a social commentary holiday song about poor kids threatening Santa. “Father Christmas, give us some money, don’t mess around with those silly toys…”

“Santa Claus Is Back In Town” / “Merry Christmas Baby” (Elvis Presley)
No list of Christmas songs would be complete without something from The King. I couldn’t pick just one and went with these two because I love the R&B influence in both of them.

On the 1st day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 2nd day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
A Tale of Two Cities, and Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 3rd day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 4th Day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 5th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 6th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 7th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 8th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Eight Men Out, The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 9th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Nine Stories by Salinger, Eight Men Out
The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 10th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Ten Little Indians, Nine Stories by Salinger, Eight Men Out
The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 11th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
The Count of Eleven, Ten Little Indians, Nine Stories by Salinger,
Eight Men Out, The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

On the 12th day of Bookmas, my bookstore sent to me:
Twelfth Night by Shakespeare, The Count of Eleven
Ten Little Indians, Nine Stories by Salinger, Eight Men Out
The House of the Seven Gables, The Dark Tower VI
Slaughterhouse-Five!
Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Three Musketeers, A Tale of Two Cities…
And Silverstein’s The Giving Tree

(*Author’s Note: Thanks to everyone who gave me their suggestions for the 8th and 11th days)