Andy Warner, the hero of Breathers and I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, has always nurtured a bit of a creative side, penning the occasional haiku to help him deal with the challenges of being a reanimated corpse.
In I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus, Andy copes with his captivity in a zombie research facility by rewriting “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz. Naturally Andy’s lyrics, which you can read below, are a little darker.
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“If I Only Had Some Brains”
lyrics by Andy Warner
I could gnaw away the hours
Delightfully devour
Digesting Johns and Janes
And my mouth I’d be fillin’
While my hands were busy killin’
If I only had some brains
I’d faddle and I’d fiddle
Fat fry you on the griddle
Sautéing your remains
On your flesh I’d be snackin’
And your skull I would be crackin’
If I only had some brains
Oh, ever since I’ve died
I’ve longed for blood and gore
Just to sit and eat the brains that I adore
And then I’d sit and eat some more
I would bake you in a muffin
Complete you with some stuffin’
Or maybe some whole grains
In a shake made with dairy
I would top you with a cherry
If I only had some brains
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