Andy Warner – Thirty-something zombie who died in a car accident and lives in his parents’ wine cellar. Watches cable television, gets pelted with expired food products, and attends Undead Anonymous, where he falls in love with Rita and becomes best friends with Jerry.
Rita – Twenty-three year old who committed suicide and now lives with her mother. More attractive than your average zombie, she consumes formaldehyde in cosmetic products and inspires Andy to embrace his zombieness.
Jerry – A twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a post-mortem permanent erection. Lacks a filter between what he thinks and what he says. Skilled in soft core Renaissance pornography. Favorite word is “Dude.”
Tom – A former dog trainer killed by a pair of Presa Canarios, he is the token zombie vegetarian. Lacks self-confidence, which is exacerbated when one of his arms is stolen by fraternity pledges.
Naomi – Beaten to death by her husband with a golf club, leaving her with a sagging mouth and an empty eye socket, which she uses to put out her cigarettes. Bitter and angry, she channels her hostility at Carl.
Carl – A curmudgeon who was stabbed to death by two teenagers. The smart-ass of the group, he makes snide comments and pushes everyone’s buttons.
Helen – Fifty-two-year-old moderator of Undead Anonymous who was shot to death with a twelve-gauge, pump-action Mossberg. Fond of inspirational euphemisms.
Ray – A rogue zombie who lives outside of society’s rules and introduces the members of Undead Anonymous to the joys of consuming human flesh.
Harry and Lois Warner – Andy’s parents. His father resents Andy’s stench and the cost of raising a zombie, while his mother pretends that having a zombie for a son is perfectly normal.